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Half
Time?
by Paul Davidson
With
the season (1998-99) half way through, Paul Davidson reflects on
what has gone so far.
Although
I have not been to every Boro game due to a severe case of QPRitis
(a very rare and untreatable disease), I have still been to about
twenty five matches and so offer my own thoughts on the games I
have seen to date.
Goal
of the season. Pat Gavin's wonderful header against Aylesbury
in the Trophy replay.
Player
of the season. David Hook. Has kept us in many games almost
single handedly.
Best
performance of the season. Probably Slough away. We mullered
them.
Best
result of the season. Probably Cambridge City after being 2-0
down, but run close by 8-2 against Carshalton. Eight goals in one
game, tee-hee.
Craziest
game of the season. Easy, Chesham at home.
Worst
performance of the season. Purfleet away. So embarrassing I
can't describe it.
Most
welcome sight of the season. The return of Tony Booth
Most
pleasing moment. John "Judas" Lawford getting substituted in
the Chesham game cos' they needed a goal.
Worst
moment so far. The last two minutes at Basingstoke.
Most
expected disappointment. The 95th minute goal at St. Albans.
Most
surreal sight. Ian Rutherford running onto the pitch two stone
lighter with bright blond hair.
Worst
noise award. Aylesbury's "band", complete with female triangle
player.
Biggest
surprise. The return of David Howell at Purfleet.
Silliest
sight of the season (possibly ever!) Chris Toussaint with big
thick woolly gloves on for the cold (on the mildest December night
in history), having to stop to have a drink because he was too hot,
at Purfleet.
Wettest
sight of the season. The bottom corner during the Cambridge
game. Heroes of the season. The baler outers of above.
The
biggest change of mind of the season. The Cambridge manager
who so desperately tried to keep the game going on at half time
when 2-0 up and then tried to get the game abandoned when 4-2 down.
Best
joke of the season (that's publishable anyway). Des Lynam, Alan
Hansen and Andy Gray are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.
God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side,
I must first ask you what you believe."
Addressing
Mr Hansen first, he asks, "What do you believe?" Big Al looks God
in the eye and states passionately "I believe football to be the
food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many
people, from the slums of Sao Paolo to the mansions of Chelsea.
I have devoted my life to bring such joy to those people who stood
on the terraces at Anfield."
God
looks up and offers Alan the seat to his left. He then turns to
Andy Gray. "And you Mr Gray, what do you believe?" Andy stands tall
and proud. "I believe courage honour and passion are the fundamentals
of life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living
embodiment of these traits."
God,
moved by the passion of the speech offers Andy the seat to his right.
Finally he turns to Des Lynam. "And you Mr Lynam, what do you believe?"
"I believe," says Des " You are in my seat!"
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